Falling Off

Every so often, I meet rather interesting people who I have difficulty understanding. These individuals and I are on completely different wavelengths when it comes to seeing certain aspects of life, particularly on the topic of sex. I recently had such a conversation with a guy named Dick* (don't mind my witty nickname).

Dick is a 30 something year old professional business man in the entertainment industry. Dick has power, and Dick has money. Dick is also overweight, not too attractive, but extremely charismatic in a flirtatious and demanding sort of way. One of those people in high position and expects ass kissing. Needless to say, many girls flock to him in hopes of being introduced into the industry. He apparently lost count after fucking 150 girls.

Now, I'm not a math major but I do believe 150 is a pretty big number. I also collected some fun facts from Dick:

- Korean girls are nymphomaniacs.
- Japanese girls are submissive.
- You either hit or miss with Chinese girls.
- White girls are lazy.
- Fucking a porn star really isn't much different from fucking any other woman.

While discussing his intimate stories, Dick was simultaneously trying to coerce me into the act. Now I don't know why or how a man thinks he looks even remotely attractive by telling you he's fucked over 150 girls, especially to a virgin. He even revealed that he was not 100% "clean," but was currently "healthy."

Seriously?!

After some thinking, I had one question left to ask Dick: Do you feel restless and discontent about life? His answer was what I expected: Yes, very.

And then things come full circle. Those who are unhappy with themselves and with what they have continue to look endlessly. There's never enough money, power, or even women in the world. My guess for Dick is that he'll probably keep looking until his dick falls off.

Blockheads

What I don't understand are people who can't seem to get a clue. Let's just call them blockheads.



No matter how many little hints you drop, or even how direct you are with them, these people are incapable of taking your subtle or not so subtle suggestions to leave you the fuck alone.

Case A.
Fred* was a guy I had a booty call with once (on a blue moon, or perhaps it was a full moon) because hey, let's admit it, we all have urges every once in a while... however much you may regret it the next day and then go back to it the same night. Afterwards, I made it perfectly clear the two-time ordeal was purely spur of the moment and would never happen again. But no matter how directly I tell him to shut up and go away, the boy cannot seem to comprehend these words. In an almost desperate attempt, I question him directly: Why do you still bother me if I am so mean to you? He simply "LOL's" his way out of the question, and continues on to barrage me with links to random youtube videos that I will never click and ask me to go out and grab a bite with him. The answer has been and always will be NO.

Case B.
John* was an ex-boyfriend where things ended on a bad note. But every couple of months, he'll send me a message or phone call, trying to patch up at least a friendship and to check on my status. I ignored this for the first few months, but as I got over my grudge, I decided to start replying. Worst choice ever. No matter how short, blunt, or uncommitted my responses are to his questions of "What is it you want out of life?" "Where do you want to be in five years?" etc., he asks nevertheless and continues to spill out cliche wisdoms, such as: "You'll only get what you work for" (I know this already dumbshit).

In the end, is it because these boys crave what they cannot have? Is playing "hard to get," and not on purpose, driving these boys to pursue their endless ambition even further?

Someone give me a sledge hammer, I want to break some blocks open.

Going Shallow

I wouldn't say my resume of boyfriends thus far has been very impressive. They've included some rather scruffy looking people, and some that I was even embarrassed to be seen with at times. The answer to this has always been: personality is what matters.

We've all heard it a thousand times. I've even preached and practiced it. But upon further analysis, I can't help but wonder, is this why I haven't lost my virginity? Superfluous reasons where the animal instinct in me tells me not to mate with an Ugly in the event that we might procreate and form a monster?



Possibly.

Therefore, I now declare myself on a mission to dig above the surface for once and find someone purely for physical reasons alone. Someone to coddle and fondle, and be my living instant-presto-make-me-horny statue.

It's for the survival of mankind (and to guarantee my good genes don't go to waste).

Dear Edison Chen,

Dear Edison Chen,
You're my fucking hero.

-SDP

I'm sure if you can read English, you probably have no idea who the dude is, but as of late, the media in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan are going insane over leaked sex photos of this dude and several other famous Chinese stars. Chen is "a Hong Kong movie actor, singer, idol, founder of CLOT Inc. and the CEO of Clot Media Division Limited" according to his Wikipedia. I don't really care what the hell that all means, but all I know is this dude is hot. Upon further reading of his Wikipedia, it turns out Chen also flunked out of high school and then somehow out of sheer dumb luck, became the superstar he is today.

Now this pretty much defies every single stereotype ever set across my mind about Chinese people. We don't have to be hard-working and smart to be successful in life. And we have pre-marital sex. Whoa.

My entire life, my good old Mother has embedded in my mind that Chinese people do NOT have sex before marriage. Ever. And yes, I believe(d) her. It's quite sad to say that only did I approach 20 did I start to realize... perhaps her views were skewed. Perhaps they were just flat out lies. Either way, I feel that at times I do a lot of things that disappoint my Mother. This is one category that I have persevered in. She may not be so happy about finding out I've pretty much been to third base and back, but hey, at least I've still got my cherry.

But now reality is starting to land. I almost feel a little backwards, but at the same time I feel unready to have my vagina penetrated.

Edison Chen, if you ever read this, I would definitely do you.

On a side note, Chen has a blog and it's in English. Although it's very bad English, which really doesn't make much sense to me since his fan base is Chinese speaking people. And even those who've learned English probably can't make much sense out of it since it's not even proper English. Hell, even I can't fully comprehend half of it. Oh well, he's hot.